“Images Engraved On The Heart”

Everyday
He eagerly waits
To return to me
Rushing home
After a long day
He has spent away from me
And
Believe me
I am hoping that
It feels like an eternity
Because when he sees me
I want him to devour me
Entirely
See
It is exciting
When a man is your lover
It is exciting
When he is your best friend too
But nothing matches the most
Excitement yet
To know he pays attention
To you too
By making it his everyday mission
To create beautiful moments
That is beyond lusting after you
And
Just enjoying
And
Using all of his senses
Including
The most vital organs
His heart
To take mental images
Of every moment
Every laugh
Every cry
Every loving embrace
Every hair that oddly fell out of place
Remembering
What first connected us
And
What will keep us together
Even when we are apart
For just a little bit

-Yellowbonewonda

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“He Had Errors In Coding”

My first mistake was
Talking to him
My second mistake was
Trusting him
My third mistake was
When I gave my heart to him
And
It should have been
The last mistake given
But dumb me
I kept telling myself
I loved him
And
Love would get us through
Anything
Until he lied to me
Deceieved me
Broke my heart into pieces
And
Caused my emotions to explode
Going nuclear
I just feel I have lost control
Reeling uncontrollably
Questioning every decision
How could he
Wait until I was invested
To finally introduce me
To the real HIM
Hiding behind the mask
The one
Who switch baited me
And
I have to admit
I am
In complete denial
I can not believe he fool me
He got me to lower my guard
Open my life
To his madness
Forcing me to
Second guess everything
I can not believe
Any of this
He played with my heart
Strung me along
Then crushed me under his boot

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Defenses Weakening Daily”

Sadly
I am not a loser
Not once
Not twice
But thrice
Because
As of late
These days that have been
Coming towards me
They have been winning over me
I keep rolling a crap shoot
Of a game
Everytime I touch the dice
I get snake eyes
I ask you
How can you get sick
From going no where
I have not been outside
In ages
Yet the weather changes
From cold
To heat
To raining up a storm
In minutes
And
My body feels it
Waking my arch nemises
That lives inside of me
So he can play a vicious game
Called break me into pieces
Which weakens my defenses
So much
That I catch every aching pain
And sickness
What is this mess
I should be at my strongest
Being tucked in my bed
Hidden
From all the terrifying monsters

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I Could Not Be You”

Everyday I wake
I am surprised
How much I care
How much I love
How strong my heart beats
Even after the
Many injuries to it
Ranging from
Minor bruises
Small lesions
Gapping wounds
Still bleeding extremely
And
This thing that
Continues to keep love alive
Inside of me
I must confess
I do not know where
It come from
It is something bigger than me
Supplying me
My only plea
I do wish for
Is a minor adjustment
In order to keep
A proper gauge of my sanity
Believe me
Do not get me wrong
I am ecstatic to not be like you
Cold
Heartless
Empty
Incapable of love
But
I just need more balance
A little of you
Inside of me
So as to protect myself
More from the heartache
That sometimes consumes me
Because
At times
I do not understand
Why
I am not dead from
The enormous grief
Or
The excruciating pain
Caused by my gigantic heart
That at times
Is worn on my sleeve
Often too much
Crippling me
Sometimes for days
At a time
Because each time
The recovery is harder
Than the last
To bounce from
To getting me back
To being me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Some Dreams Materialize Slowly”

I never believed
In fairytales until I witnessed
One become a reality
It was magical
It just
Jumped off the pages
Right out of a book
Read to me as a little girl
It was everything
It was encouraging
And
It is slowly convincing
Me
A simple everyday girl
That I can have everything
Including a prince
With a kid or two
Just thinking about it
Gives me goosebumps
That someone is out there
Waiting
Hoping
Searching for me
Wanting me
To cross his path
So he can
Sweep me off my feet
Into whirlwind
Love affair
Made for soulmates
And
Although
I am trying to be patient
I am tired of the bull $hit
Because
That damn
Burger king commercial
Is taunting me
The chanting in my head
I want it
Now
My way
Not helping
My anxiousness
Is at the red line
So I am thinking
I am in need of a vacation
Take myself out the everyday
Thing
That is my life
So I can decompress
Release all this weight
From me
So I can be ready for him
To see my heart
In all its glory

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Mentally Caged In”

Not until racism
Is put to rest
Not until human trafficking
No longer exist
Not until hate
Is eradicated from every heart
And
Equality is for all
Black
White
Gay
Straight
Man
Woman
Religious
Non religious
Only then
Thereafter we can say
We are all free
Otherwise
No matter how far we have come
The illusion of freedom
Is what it is
And
The days of human slavery
Is still real
Of course
It is not like the old days
Bowing to a master
Saying yes sir
Getting whipped across the back
To be conditioned
But what it is
Is the people
Trapped in their own head
Thinking as a inferior
Or
Thinking as a superior
Something some people are still taught
As children to be
When they grow up
And
In order to erase
All of this
People need to take the initiative
To break the cycle
By getting educated on different cultures
By being patient in different situations
By being tolerant of different people
Respecting individuals
Not grouping everyone as enemies
Then and only then
It will start to change the world
Because in the end
Of all the fighting
What is left is
Bloody human-beings bleeding red
Dead because of blind hate

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Finding His Garden”

Made too many left turns
Following people
Pretending to know
How to explain the bible
Found out
They were not his true followers
They did not understand his teachings
They were not walking his path
False prophets
They knew nothing
As to find his garden
Where there would be an abundance
Of what we needed
And
Not what we wanted
Waiting for us
So I had to walk away
To find what I was losing
And
It felt as if
I ran a marathon
Trying to find it
Heart pounding
Out of breath
Body sweating
Anxiety building
Not able to stand
Any longer
Legs weakening
From the heavy burden
Until
I asked for him to take over
So
He pushed me down
Taking over
To allow my body
To recover
Releasing everything
That did not belong to me
Off my shoulders
Out of my mind
Out of my heart
And
Out of my spirit
By slowing kneeling me
To a bented knee
With my hands clasped together
So I could ask for
His acceptance
His love
His forgiveness
For being lost and human

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Cause And Effect”

Isolate yourself
So as to quarantine
The contagious virus
That is you
From the rest of us
Because we do not need
More craziness
We need a world with more sanity
It is enough danger
In this society
We do not need you
Carrying an epidemic of
sadness
Deception
Hopelessness
Which will infect the masses
With great destruction
Destroying the innocent
Giving plenty of heartache
If you are broken
You do not want to be fixed
Have balance
Peace of mind
And
Peace within your heart
Go somewhere else
Deep in a Forrest
Anywhere you can not
Hurt
Harm
Or
Endanger us
No more tears need to be shed
Unless it is tears of
Happiness

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Stopped Being Predictable”

Everyday you torture
Your allies
Making enemies out of loved ones
Losing people
Who have always been there for you
Who cared about you
Who never harmed you
Who always loved you
Because of
This persona you are presenting
A terribly frightful
Very appalling
Heartless vindictive person
Someone that is not you
So for a moment
Can we flipped the script
So you could understand me
See through my eyes
What I see you representing
You disregarding people’s feelings
Follow me
Imagine this
I you
You me
And
For years
You have known me
To be a certain way
To wear my heart on my sleeve
But
Changed
Stopped being that
Predictable person
Stopped calling
Stopped talking
Stopped giving a *uck
Would I surprise you
Would I get your attention
Would you finally
Then see reason
That everyone’s feelings
Mean something
And
You are not the only one
In the world that has them
So you need to be more understanding
When you are hurting them

-Yellowbonewonda

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“One Destroys What Many Try To Rebuild”

You are a person
Without a heart
A soulless human
Without any humanity
A pain in the butt
With your one for all mentality
Walking around amongst us
Getting in the way of
The ones
Trying to be
Helpful
Useful
And
Willing to get along
For the better good
Of the community
And
With all the love
I have inside of me
I can not feel for you
A person so hell bent
On destroying everything around you
For no other reason
Besides selfishness
You want the world
To bow down to you
But you refuse to offer
Anything to this society
But
Your screwed up attitude
Your destructive tendacies
Your feelings of entitlement
Just know
Everything about you
Is so off-putting
All of your self-absorbness
It is not attractive
It is not productive
You are a time bomb
With a countdown
Of mere seconds
And
Everyone in your radius
Is sure to perish
I just wish you go away
And
Leave us alone
To live in peace

-Yellowbonewonda

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“The Unknown”

It is the not knowing
That propels the mind
To run rampeed
Like a runaway train
With a vivid imagination
After things that once made sense
Does not make sense anymore
It forces you to question
Everything told to you
By a person that
You thought you knew
But you did not know
After finding out
Everything they told
Was part of a vivid delusion
That they made up
To keep you from seeing
The real reality
The truth about them
That they are pretenders
Pretending to be
Some they are not
Someone confident
Someone strong
Someone that got
Their life together
Being conners
Manipulating strangers
To lower their guard
To invite them in
So they can pretend
A little longer
To be someone they are not

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Set It Ablaze”

You do not need
A match
And
Kerosene
To completely destroy us
Unless you want
It to be permanent
But it is not necessary
If you do not want me
In your life
Let your words
Flow out your mouth
And
Stand by your feelings
Do not just leave
Without an explanation
It is a cowards way out
Destroying what we built together
By going on
Someone else’s problem
That had nothing to do with us
Just be honest
We been through tougher things
Than this
What is your real reason
It takes two to make
This relationship work
And
If there is nothing
In your heart to save us
I will not fight
To change your mind
Beg you to stay
If you want out
It is up to you
We can be adults
And
Say our goodbyes
Respectfully
Move on without
Anything left unfinished
Questioning who was at fault
On the demise of this relationship
If falling out of love
Is your reason
Do not stay with me
Out of obligations
Familiarity
Or
Pity
I rather respect you
Than hate you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Running From Attaching Strings”

He would avoid
A healthy relationship
To stay in
Something that is familiar
Living life following
The smallest brain
His second brain
His penis
It started
During his adolescence
Filtering
Well into his adulthood
He was taught
Conditioned
Beaten into compliance
By a woman
A mother figure
Someone that he trusted
To give into
Whatever urges
That distanced him
From love
And
Attachment
He had the body of a man
The mind of a child
She took his innocence
In his own home
Under the same
Roof as his father
Then
Abandoned him
To fend for himself
Hindering any relationship
In his future
Stopping it from
Being prosperous
A healthy growth
Because he never witnessed
Nothing but dysfunction
From his family

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Day At The Beach”

Every once and a while
Push pause
Slow down
The hustle and bustle
Of a busy day
To focus on you
Be in the present
So you can enjoy
What is overlooked in a day
A bit of peace
In a cool breeze
That gently blows through your hair
Or
When a warm sunny day
Begs you to join in
And
To bring a nice cold drink
To sip
Everso slowly
So as to taste every ingredient
Inside your drink
Waking up senses
That has gone dormant
Because you inhale
And
Not savor
Anything anymore
Due to lack of time
Or
If you are not satisfied
By that little taste
Of peace
Then go further
Find a paradise
Where
No one for miles
No prying eyes
No electronics
To bother you
Just you alone
Soaking up some rays
Sitting on the beach
Watching the waves
Subside at your feet
Letting every care
Drip off your body
Like sweat
And
Allowing the smile
You tucked away
To come
To your face
Setting free
Your captured
Tortured soul
Back into the sea

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Finding Purpose”

At times
It seems you are not
Where you should be
Or
Where you want to be
But
Sometimes it is
The right place
Life and death
Act like two kids
Playing monkey in the middle
With you everyday of your life
It is such an irritating game
To be jumping up and down
While they play keep away
Throwing your
Hopes
Dreams
Ambitions
To each other
Forcing you to fight
To try to get them back
It can be
Maddening
Confusing
Stressful
To play this game
And
Not know where
Your purpose is in life
Always
Questioning
Are you at the beginning
Are you at the end
Because
The finish line
Sometimes feels like
The starting line
And
Thoughts runaway
With you
Thinking should
You give up
Should you fight
Well that is
The million dollar question
It is up to you
Is it worth it
To you
Or
Not

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Entering Into The Badlands”

Stumbling
Into the badlands
Where nowhere
Is somewhere
Questioning
Is it a nightmare
Or
Is it reality
Because I am
Wondering lost
Not sure
In what direction
Is best to go
Tired of walking
In circles
And
It feels as if
Being stuck
In a dream state
In a coma
A Cinderella existance
After biting into
The poisonous apple
Causing
Daylight to slip away
Very quickly
It is as if
It had never existed
I closed my eyes
This morning only
For a moment
Now
Waking into darkness
Not aware of
The date
The time
Or
What I missed
During the whole ordeal
While I slept
So deep
So sound
That nothing
Or
No one could
Wake me
Not a prince
Not an antidote
Just time had to pass
To heal
To mend
What was broken

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Nothing Halfway”

Loyalty
Is a must
I can not be
In any kind of relationship
Without it
My trust is priceless
There is no selling it
There is no leasing it
It is not property
It is part of me
My soul
My heart
And
Once damaged
It is hard to give back
So from the beginning
I tell you once
That I give
And
I ask for nothing
Less than 100%
Either give it
To me forever
Or
Not give it
To me at all
And
I suggest
If you want
To play games
There is a playground
At the park
Go run off your energy there
And
Do not come messing
Playing
Agitating
Adults

-Yellowbonewonda

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“No One Is All Knowing”

When pain consumes
Bodies not broken
On the outside
People hesitate to help
People think they are lying
Over-exaggerating
Their circumstance
But how do they know
How do you know
Have you walked in their shoes
Slipped into their skin
Looked through their eyes
Gone through their thoughts
What is your reasoning
Of doubt
You have neither proved
Nor
Disproved
Their discomfort
Their experiences
What gives you the right
To give an opinion
On something you know
Nothing about
Physical appearances
Do not always present
The pain a person is going through
Pain comes in many forms
It is all-embracing
It can be
Invisibly cloaked
From the naked eye
Where most do not
Look beyond
If they do not have
A microscope
Internal
Mental
Emotional pain
People run from
Deny its existence
Deny treatment
Because if it does not make sense
You must be lying
Not realizing no one is all knowing
And
Science has not discovered
Everything in existence
Some people are special cases
A new chapter to add
Into the discovery books

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Life Should Be Precious”

Why would you
Commit murder
In order
To save
Or
To steal
Replaceable
Materialistic junk
Cars
Clothes
Jewelry
Paper money
Printed by the
Millions
Billions
Trillions
Do you realize
Life is the only
Priceless commodity
On the planet
And if killed
It is a 100% guarantee
That person is gone
Never to be replaced
Like the stuff
Bought
At the mall
Or
At the market
A life
Will not be returned
Exchange for a better model
Crediting back
Because it was lost
Or
Stolen
From the owner
So why
Would you
Go to extremes
Of taking a life
Creating a permanent solution
To a problem
That no one can
Come back from
Could you live
With your conscious
After being taught
Thou shalt not kill
I want to know
Could you live with it
Because there are people
Who do not think before they act
Then find out later
There are some actions
That can not be
Reversed
Undone
Wished away
After a life they took
Is buried six feet deep
Under the cold
Damp and dark dirt
You want to be responsible
For someone’s
Child
Mother
Daughter
Son
Uncle
Father
Not coming home
To them
Think before you act

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Cheap Imitation Foundation”

Are you strong enough
To handle the consquences
After you have
Spoken blatant lies
Told half truths
Or
Lied by ommission
Because
If you do not know
Read close
The truth about lies
They linger in dark corners
Whispering
Then shouting at your conscious
To be set free
They loiter in your heart
Making you feel guilty
So you will repent
Making things right
They attach to your soul
Being a heavy weight
That will surely
Become unbearable
And
It is patient
It will wait many lifetimes
To eventually come out
Or
Change into karma
Becoming that metaphorical
Sledgehammer
That demolishes everything
With one swing
Breaking everything
Built on top of it
Down to the unstable foundation
Leaving nothing behind
Besides
A wrenching heartached
Confused
Disappointed
Person
Who you betrayed
Turning a good person
Into a wounded soul
Numbed to the world
And
Everyone in it
Who cries
A steady flow of tears
Leaking out anything
That has anything
To do with happiness
Draining them out

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Limboing Souls Losing Their Life”

If you linger too long
In two different worlds
They see it as
You
Opening yourself up
To welcome
To host
To entertain
Ghost
Just saying
They are opportunist
They search to find
Weakened souls
Living in limbo
In order
To step into this life
The heaviest weight
You could carry
Is a dwelled upon
Memory
That haunts
And
Plays tricks on the mind
Day
And
Night
Your darknest time
The trauma
The hurt
The hate
Detering you
Deal with it
Or
It will cost you
This life
By bringing it to the light
Allowing it
To run nowhere
Exposing
The truth
Releases you
So you can step back
Into this world
That gives you
A chance to take back
What is your right
Your life

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Wading Through A Blur”

Someone’s breaking point
Is coming
I only hope
It will not be massive
Sad thing
No one will know
Why
Until after
Blood has been shed
Killing has been done
And
They have plead insanity
Please
Just
Watch them
When they start
Screaming the loudest
Stating the victim
Deserved it
People need to
See some humans
Are incurable
Unfocused individuals
Living life restless
Souless
With little motivation
No direction
Not begging
Not wanting
To be in charge of
Their mind
Their body
Which are playing on
Two different wavelengths
That they refuse
To reboot
To repair
Therefore
There is no shut off
Button to push
No downtime for them
They are
What they are
A mixed bag
Of assortments
Charmer
Savage
Killer
With an
Endless possibilities
Of being
Good mastermind
Bad criminal
Or
Worst predator
Depending on
The scenario
And
Guess what
Their shattered psyche
Will be the problem
To solve
Not the person
At the defense table
At least that is what
The defense lawyer
Will be claiming
Saying his client
Was a victim of circumstance
While ignoring the real victim
Killed and buried

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Against The Current”

With every task
I try to consider
With every decision
I try to make
And
Trying not to make
A mistake
It is the endless
Overthinking
That gets me
In the end
Mixed with
Rare occasions
Where my mind wonders
How easy it would be
Just to
Submit
Succumb
Surrender
Go with the flow
Be like the majority
Stop
Fighting upstream
Against the current
Of miserable people
Who do nothing but take
And
Never give back
Because of them
I should be in critical condition
On life support
My body is
Heavy
My heart is
Burdensome
My spirit is
Depleting
My energy is at the brink
Of collapse
Overworked
Overwhelmed
Weakened by people
Who do not appreciate
My existence
My love
My help
I question this creation
Of emptiness
This lack of heart
In some humans
I want to know
How do these people exist

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Black Magic Backfires”

I figured
You must have thought
Your glamour spell
You casted on me
Would permanently
Prevent me from seeing
The truth
Silly Warlock
You are not strong enough
You
My dear
Are still a student
Not yet
A professor in
The magic realm
Making colossal mistakes
Missing key ingredients
Cooking up a very temporary
Fading spell
Which allowed me to awaken
To witness
The real broadcasting of
What was real
Your true face
On all channels
Everywhere
Yeah
You know the one
That big @sshole
That one with the
Very bad intentions
That was trying to hide from me
That was trying to hurt me
Yeah
The true you
The one
I would never
Talk to
Giving my time for
Or
Cried for

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Not A Wasteland Yet”

Your eviction process
Is going in effect
You have 30 days
To get out
I am legally banishing you
Out of my life
So I can sleep
Peacefully at night
Because I can not
Have you constantly
On my mind
Everyday
Every night
Driving me insane
To a point of no return
So I need to take this action
Before it is too late
This thing we had
It is not love
But an obsession
Taking up
Too much space
In my head
In my heart
In my life
You are a
Squatter
Not paying rent
And
The longer you stay
You decrease
My value
Reducing
This entire sanctum
To nothing
But rubble
And
Trash
That no one
Will want to buy
Making it a forgotten wasteland
That people avoid

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Giving My Better My Best”

Failure
Staked a claim on me
At my first breath
It has been trying
To discourage me
Everyday of my life
But became noticeable
The first day
I tried to walk
It knocked me down
In my first steps
But it could not
Keep me down
I kept trying
I wobbled
I toddled
Until my balance
Balanced out
In no time
I was walking
Running
Climbing
I dominated
My task
At least I thought
Until failure came back
In a vengeance
At each pass
Adolescence
Adulthood
It was not giving up
It wanted me
So bad
It wanted to break
My joy
My hope
My spirit
Getting me depressed
Enough to doubt myself
My actions
My decisions
In this life
Trying to make me feel
I was not good enough
But I am as good as
Another
So I am not giving in
Just yet
I am giving
My better
My best
Steps going forward
Until forward
Is no longer
An option
To getting there

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Hating Is Easy Loving Is Hard”

If it is being told
By the media
Which they say
Is the truth
So many people
Are consumed with pure hate
Downright evil
To one another
And
The word humanity
Is a joke
I would have said
It was a complete utter lie
But the evidence
Is stacking up
Because I see it everywhere
On blogs
Instagram post
Comment sections of articles
Walking down the street
Driving across town
Eating at a restaurant
I see what they see
Humans wishing
Other humans harm
Stoking a fire that is
Trying to burnout
Causing an inferno
Of actions
Of words
Unbecoming of
All religious faiths
What would the Almighty say
If he was here now
Would he be proud
Of the fighting
Of the hate consuming people
Of us being divided
As humans
What would he say
Or
Would he cry for his children
Shake his head
Turning his back
On this creation
Of *uck ups
Going home
Leaving us in our mess

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Redo This Life Over”

If I had a chance
To rewind
I would like to go back
To the beginning
Where I could
Make better choices
Have more courage
Discover my talents sooner
Chase my ambitions
In life
Find my soulmate
Missing all the misfits
That misfired
And
Be more of a beast
In this world
Learning as many languages
Traveling the world
Discovering the true
Meaning of life
Because I know
This is not living
Getting up for a 9 to 5
Sitting in traffic
Repeating it
Over and over again
This hustle and bustle
Of life is not supposed to be
Because what I feel
This is
Is purgatory

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Testing Testing 1 2 3”

When it was time for me to speak
My voice went out on strike
It decided not to show up
I opened my mouth
Nothing came out
My throat was so dry
No water could help
Every time I opened
My mouth
I choked on air
I was struggling with each breath
All I could push out
Was a squeak
A little peep
I felt like
A bad Verizon commerical
Entrapped me
I kept hearing
In my head
Can you hear me now
And
By their expression
They could not
I was frustrated
I was panicked
How could
Something I do everyday
Such an easy task
Be so hard now
My chest hurt
My throat dry
My head is spinning
I need a nap
I am so tired
I am tapping out
Hopefully tomorrow
Will be a better day

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Tears From The Heart”

I could not be
The girl
I used to be
Crying over him
Was useless
Because he never saw me
I was only a possession
To him
So I had to change who
He saw me to be
His victim
I played it
One too many times
Until that last time
That was
When he let his guard down
Turning his back on me
I saw my chance
I took my revenge
I crept up behind him
Emptying out
The hurt
The hate
The betrayal
He left within me
Showing the strength
Of my rage
He built inside of me
He promised forever
Only to deceive me
Well this was his time
To get what was coming
To him
Breaking hearts
Just because
There is nothing
Better to do
Will be a downfall
When a person is at
A breaking point
Feed up with
The games being played
With them
Just
Be 100
And
Stay 100
There is no reason to lie
To anybody

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.