“Your Own Insanity”

Some people create their own horrifying storm
That take out many

Unrequited love
A Powerful
Euphoric feeling
Dangerous for everyone
It involves

A hunger
And Thirst
That can not be filled
Because it’s a one way street

The Desires
The Intensity
It’s Spectacular
It’s Indescribable

You hear in your head
You love me
You adore me
You want to feel me
You want me

You want them to say
Come kiss me
Come touch me
Come admire me
Come to me

Something that is so dangerous
To fall into
When you are the only one
Feeling this

You’re locked in
A world of your own making
Manipulated by your own mind
Never really knowing the object of your affections

Is truly not yours

You use it as a double-edged sword
If I can’t have them
No one can

The insanity that’s in your mind
It’s what it is
INSANITY

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“She Was Told”

By Hollywood
By society
By magazines
By men
She was told what beauty was

That
You have to be thin
You have to be blonde
You have to have straight hair
You have to be anything you’re not

She has no one to convince her otherwise
And if she does
She’s not listening

She cuts herself to feel something
She starve herself to get skinny
She hates herself because she can’t see herself

Because she’s not the image of what she was told she should be

She does not see she is beautiful
The way she is
The way she talks
The way she walks
The way she is herself

She does not see her self
As beauty
But she is

She is a queen by her own right
She is a lover with the ability to nurture
She has birth nations of kings and queens
She has the strength of a warrior

She does not
Need to be told what she is

She is light
She is love
She is strength
She is beauty

No matter
Your size
Your shape
Your color
Your hair

You are beauty

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Free Yourself”

Are you going to rise up
Or
Are you going to fall by the wayside
Are you a leader
Or
Are you going to follow the leader
Never seeing nothing
Other than the back of someone’s head

When do you think for yourself
When will you stop and listen
To the music playing all around you
The world is a symphony with its own instruments

So dance and sing freely
Dance and sing like you are in your bedroom
Or in the shower
Dance and sing like no one else is watching
Like there is no care in the world
And you are finally free

Free of bullying
Free of peer pressure
Free of expectations
Free of hate

Everyone in this world
Has problems
Has struggles
Has weakness

But to rise up from the fire around you
All you have to do is rise

Your feet are for walking
Your head is for thinking
Your hands are for working
Your mouth is for talking

Use them to begin
The chapter of YOU

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Ticking”

By: Yellowbonewonda

Sitting on my living room couch
Nothing on
Nobody around
I heard out of the silence
In this house
A Ticking

Tick
Tick
Tick

I’m drifting off to a place
Where there is an abundance of
Images and words
Colors and emotions
Flooding my brain
One after the other
With control and grace
Like the rise and fall of a wave in the ocean coming towards the shore

I am calm
I’m at peace
It is drowning me
But not killing me

I’m breathing while submerged in the deep dark blue
I’m seeing life
In balance
That man has not reached
With their nets
With their poles
With their submarines
No one has ever seen such a place
That’s so prehistoric
Way before our time

Under the deep dark blue
I’m surrounded by majestic beings
Swimming by as if I was part of this beautiful world
As I’m enjoying the power of life like no other
I hear

Tick
Tick
Tick

And I return
Recharged
With just a glimpse of what is in store for me
To my living room couch

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Specialist”

By: Yellowbonewonda

Fragile

Handle with care

It’s already broken

Don’t break it more

Don’t toss it around

Then kick it on the ground

It’s already not working properly

You don’t need to damage it more

The warranty is expired

I forgot to renew it

Where can I get it inspected

Where can I get it fixed

Money is no problem

Where is the best of the best

I don’t want no one with no experience

To fix it temporarily for it to break again

I’m not looking for a person 

Looking for job security

I don’t need you to tinker with it

I don’t need you to pretend you know what you doing

I need the top specialist

The one that the government use

I fear my heart is broken

I can’t explain it

It’s not working like before

Before love

Before lost

Before the sorrow

Before the pain

Before someone

Shot it

Stabbed it

Ripped it out

Stomped on it

Lit it on fire

And blew its ashes away

Before innocence was taken

Before emotions of

Compassion

Hope

Trust

And love

Started blinking

I’m getting the flashing warning signs

But I’m passing by every repair shop

Just looking for that specialist

That no one knows his whereabouts

He only takes special clients

Finding you

And you not finding him

I hope I’m on his radar

Because I’m in fear

Fear of not fixing it

Fear of not feeling

Fear of losing it

Because its no way to replace it

No one carry the special parts

It was made one of a kind

So if the Specialist

Is out there

Please find me

Because I’m in need of repair

 

 

 

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Not So Tempting”

By: Yellowbonewonda

Behind that cold
Dead soul
Your eyes where so hypnotic
You thought you could tempt me
To do things against my character
To do things you wanted me to do
To be something
Or
Someone I wasn’t supposed to be

Such a cold
Dead soul
Behind those eyes
Dead from the first time
I laid my eyes upon them

I thought I could bring you out of  the darkness
That surrounded you
And
Let you see the beauty around you
Through
My spirit
My eyes

But I wasn’t enough to fill you
You drained every part of me
Except for what I hid from you
Out of survival
It was built into my DNA
Before my first breath into this world

Too dear for me to lose
Something I cherished
That was my greatest gift
That made me
Me
That no one could take from me
Including you

I wanted the best for you
I wanted happiness for you
I wanted to love you

You thought my kindness
Was weakness
That cold
Dead soul
Showed me
You
Could not feel for me

When I was weaken by you
You ignored my pain
You
Could not want me

When I needed you to hold me
You ignored my need to be close to you
You
Could not love me

When I needed it unconditionally
You judged every part of me

Enough is enough
Keep your
Cold
Dead Soul
Because
I am finally released from you

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

” Surrounding Me”

By: Yellowbonewonda

Because my angels
Are all around me
With their wings surrounding me
Blocking out the negative interference of doubt and fear

I woke up this morning not comprehending
I was flying so far away from home
Where war was going on
I was going to be part of helping a military community

I walked off the plane in this foreign land
No ideas shaped in my head
Of what was ahead of me
No thoughts of the reality
Had set in

Just a few hours from now
I was going to wake up in a desert
Twenty to a tent
Bunk beds stacked on top of each other
A summer camp theme
I guess

Females
Just panicked females
All around me
Looking lost

I sat
My boots
My helmet
My Body Armour
By my bed
My bedsheets came down from the top bunk all around me
I was in my own world in the middle of a desert

Surrounded by military on Christmas Eve
I prepared for sleep
With a meal
And
A shower
Before bed

I slept through the celebrations
I slept through the gunfire that shot in the air
I slept through the helicopters hovering above
I slept peacefully like I was in paradise

Undisturbed by what was going on
Calm
Protected
Peaceful
Sleep

As I woke up after my first night in a tent full of frantic females
I felt refreshed unbothered by what crept in the night

I was confused
The next day of the stories they told
The fears they were expressing
The tears they were crying

I was confused
I knew nothing of what they talked about
But I was in the same tent they all slept in

I shrugged off their misfortune
I shrugged off their fears
I shrugged them off

Her only daughter
In unknown lands
In dangerous conditions
Unable to get to if I was hurt

Mommy I’m calm
Was the first words I spoke
After a couple days settling in
Which eased her

Because I knew
I was surrounded by my angels
I was safe
With nothing to fear

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Riches”

He was a dream
That became my reality

He was the Prince
I never saw coming

He was a life
That was only meant for me

He was the gold
At the end of the rainbow

Almost everything changed in my life
Making things all the while better
In this crazy reality

He was the richest man
In love
And
Had plenty to give me

A whisper of
I love you
Tickled my ear
It was warm
With a
Strong voice behind it
Confident

He knew
He had me
He knew all my faults
And
It still didn’t discourage him

His words
Became images of beauty
That captured
All of my attention

His heart
Surrounded by vibrant colors
That just made me happy
To be around him

When I looked into his eyes
The heavens opened
No cloud
No rain was in sight

I knew I was his rib
Once
He lifted my chin
And kissed me upon my lips
The feeling of love overcame me

As his breath poured
Throughout me
Air was much easier to breathe
It was fresh and crisp

In darkness
He brought light

With just a smile he gave
With no effort

In sorrow
He brought love

With a single
Gentle touch
He loved me
And
Only me
Making
Me
The richest Woman

~ Yellowbonewonda  

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Love Junkie”

By: Yellowbonewonda

Keeping it my little secret

Is hard

People are seeing the change in me

Or

Am I paranoid

I’m not in denial

I know my addiction

I am a stone cold junkie

With a monkey on my back

I’m carrying it like a backpack

I can feel it coming

An intervention

I’m not going

I’m not going into rehab

I’m not denying

I get high

Like a kite

On the best winds

I’m a junkie

My body is hooked

And my supplier

Can give me the best quality

It’s like no other

They can lock me up

Under the jail

In the dungeon

I ain’t giving him up

I get one hit

And

And

I’m sitting on top of the world

There is no feeling like it

I ain’t giving it up

Stop asking me to do it

I don’t know why I do it

It feels so good

I’m not giving in

To an intervention

I tell you

I’m not gonna let you detox me

I’m a love junkie

I said it

And I screaming it loud

And as long as he’s supplying

I’m gonna be searching for my next fix

The weakness in my knees

The crinkles in my toes

The hairs standing on my body giving me chills

He makes me numb to everything else

That kills my spirit

I’m lifted by every

Puff

Pill

Or shot

I can’t wait to get my next fix

I’m ducking into the shadows

Getting down and dirty with it

I’m not running

From it

Build my coffin

Because the next chance I get

I’m gonna overdose on his loving

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

” Be my Honey”

Know me
Like you know yourself

See me
As if
I was a lost piece of your soul
And you can’t live without me

Feel me
As if
Your hands are remembering my curves for the first time
Every time you touch me

Love me
Like no other will or could
For the rest of our lives
Can you promise to live a lifetime
As a Honeymooner with me
Enjoying each other
As if it was the first time
And a lifetime since we met

Pounding hearts that beat out of our chest
When we see each other
A constant flutter of butterflies
Dancing in our stomachs
When we are near each other
Never feeling enough is enough
Always wanting more

Sharing laughter for the hell of it
For no other reason
Other than to be silly

Having unconditional love
Knowing that
We will be complicated
But always as one
Being constant companions
Knowing I am your
Best friend
Lover
And playmate

As well as you be mine
Acting like children on the playground
Playing games that are silly
And using the world as our playground
Exploring every part of it
Journeying through life
Side by side

By boat
By plane
By train
By car
And Walking
Hand in hand

Journey with me
Experiencing first moments
All the rest of our lives

We will laugh
We will cry
We will love
We will loath
We will be strength
As well as
Each other’s weakness

We will be
Forevermore
Honeymooners
Walking
Side by side

~ Yellowbonewonda  

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Can I Cook or Can’t I?”

It’s funny
That the first thing you ask me
Is if I can cook

As if I’m not more

You don’t want to know
My name
My background
My likes
My dislikes
First

Or
Even
My phone number
My job status
My living arrangements

Better yet
If I am even available
For you to even talk to me

All you want to know
Is if I can cook

Yes
I can
But it is not the way you think

I can go Sugar and spice with it
I can cook up a good hate potion
That will even make you hate yourself

I can cook up a great master plan
To destroy you
So everything you touch
Just crumbles and blow away

Or
I can cook up good love potion
Where I am the queen by your side
Protecting and loving you until the end of time

I can cook up a great master plan
To make you a success
And
Everything you breath life into flourish and bloom

But
You have lost that chance
And
You will never know
Because
With all the questions in the world
You wanted to ask
You asked
The one question
That has little knowledge of me

Can I cook?

~ Yellowbonewonda  

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Resolution is Needed”

By: Yellowbonewonda

A city paved in gold, ruby, diamonds, emeralds, and pearls with sparkling clean streets

Air scented of peppermint

Houses made of gingerbread and candy cane trimmed chimneys of pure chocolate filling

Smiling faces, pleasant greetings and a sense of self respect and honor

My ideal World

No place like home, no place like home

As I click my blue glass slippers and close my eyes

No place like home

But to no surprise I open my eyes to reality not only mine but OURS

A broken city, pot holed streets, polluted air

Constant construction getting no where but in the way

Run down homes and buildings with beer cans

Crack pipes

Trash layering the brown grass that once upon a time was green and alive

Neglected by our council leaders, government officials and our proud society members

Neglected by our churches that sit on the fours corners of these broken lands

Rather than working together they place the blame and nothing is getting done to resolve the problem

Neglected by you and I

Because we’ve thrown our hands up and are walking away with our heads down shaking in despair

Complaining about what should have been

Instead of doing something other than putting up smoke screens and constant musical signs

Condemned,  men at work, and danger

And

No resolution of this sore spot,hazard or disgrace

Our complaints still will not cease

Stop

Complaining about foreign businessmen coming in and making the “American Dream”

They have built a success that flourish and bloom

What they made so can we

Stop complaining about what someone else has

Take back your community

Not by violence but by intelligence

Get educated, open businesses, be productive

Give who you call “them” a run for their money

Stop complaining that they succeed when you failed

TRY AGAIN

Young People that do not know the world

Wise People that know what the world is about

Must understand we together are the never-ending story that has no end

With innocence things are seen anew with wisdom things are explained in order not to repeat the mistakes

That have gotten us to where we are now

LOST

Lost in a world to big for us

No one listens

We speak in circles

We speak in slang

We speak and never listen

We speak and speak and the problems are still not being solved

Our broken lands are still broken

Our broken city is a landfill of violence

Our society is still unconnected

Our community is dying

I click my heels to see if things will change

And I know in my heart it won’t work

But

I still try

To say

What most think , don’t say , and what we are all doing

We are all dying faster

Who is going to stop it

Who will breathe a breath in a corpse of a world we live in

Make this world as I pictured it in my dreams

Is this world worth it or is it already worthless

End the complaint

No one is your enemy

But the evil whispers in your head

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Words”

By: Yellowbonewonda

My hands are on automatic pilot but they can’t keep up

Words are pouring out my mind

Into blank pages in front of me

I have so many words

Dancing around in my mind in an extremely rapid pace

Like someone has put the pace on high velocity

Yet these words don’t give me the calm I’m looking for

They are coming too fast that I am almost afraid I will miss some 

Words

And

Pictures

Unable to be recorded for playback

So some are lost

How do I slow down progress

How do I slow down creativity

How do I slow down my mind

So the words I see

Can be words you see

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

 

“Come Correct”

Blood doesn’t bond us
There is no contract that binds us
You don’t even know me

So
Correct the ill-will intent
You have casted upon me
That follows me like a storm cloud

Correct the wrongs you have done against me

The Lies
The cheating
The stealing
Disrespecting me
And
The hurt you’ve caused

Having me to doubt your loyalty
Your truth
And
Your intentions
Before you ask for something
You don’t deserve

And
That’s my trust
My heart
My faith
That you can be someone better

Don’t give me a sorry ass sorry
Like it solves all our problems

Sorry is not
The only thing you need to say
To wash over
And
Clean the slate
That has my soul on it

What I feel I deserve
And
What you feel I deserve
Are two different things
And
You’ve already guessed wrong
The first few thousand times

You don’t know
What I deserve
So
Just because you are not built
To give me truth
Honesty
Loyalty
And
Love
Don’t block my way
To those that can

You want to be important to me
Come correct
Or
Get out of my way

~ Yellowbonewonda  

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

” Just Instinct”

Thoughts of it
Supplying all of your needs
Hoping it will help you grow as a human being

That in the time of thirst
That once the taste of it touches upon your lips
It feels as though it is going to be the most satisfying feeling

Cooling
And
Refreshing to your soul

Love
Is like a mirage in a desert
It’s an illusion of an oasis
With a sparkling waterfall
That mesmerizes
And
Pulls you into something
That is overwhelmingly beautiful

Fulfilling a false atmosphere of paradise
But if by chance you choose to
Glance away
It disappears
Leaving you with an empty feeling
And
A sandy taste in your mouth

Love
By any other truth
Is raw

Buried so deep inside the Earth’s core
An uncharted territory no one has yet to map out
That we as people have only scratched the surface
In a book
Or an
Idea that society has twisted its meaning to be
Just a man-made definition

Love
Is both good
And
Bad

Love
Is a do
An action

Love is
A sacrifice of individuality
For compassion empathy pure unconditional acceptance

Love is
Truth of commitment to
Your partner
Friends
Family
And
Your fellow man

Love has no exact rule book
Love is lived
Love is a word that the dictionary guessed it should be
But it can not be defined

Before society made a dictionary to define words
We had no words but instincts
Animals have done it from the beginning of time
And are doing it still

At its purest form with no misunderstanding
Unchanged by the hand of the civilized man

So I ask, what is the meaning of love before the man-made dictionary
Made it “civilized”
And defined to their terms

~ Yellowbonewonda  

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Not Meant to Be”

Curiosity peaked
When our eyes met

Love erupted
When our hearts connected

Trust became an issue
Because of the past

Control became a problem
Because things became uncontrollable

Communication was put on mute
When we stopped listening

And growth was stunted
When we stopped building

Hope was lost
After we spoke out in anger
Calling each other names we weren’t named at birth

Laughter was brought to tears
After jokes became hurtful

A connection as strong as concrete
Became quicksand

We stopped wanting
Happiness

We stopped caring
About us

Hearts were broken
And we drifted apart
Finding ourselves
On course that was set to be a lifetime sentence
We refused to do together
While lost in the Bermuda triangle
Circling until we finally found a way out
Separately going in different directions
Out of survival

Before the words were spoken
Before the actions were made
Before the excuses were put into thought
The signs were there
That we just weren’t meant to be

~ Yellowbonewonda  

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Man of Power”

He is not a player
He Respects himself

He is not a day dreamer
He’s living his dreams

He’s not a shot caller
He takes care of things when it needs to be done

He is a man that stands out in a crowd
His eyes sparkle
Like the stars in a clear dark night
That Mesmerize all

He is like no other man
Indeed rare

His dreams
His goals
His overwhelming strength

He is a provider
A lover
But first, a Friend

He fights for his beliefs
and
is more gentle than a feather brushed across your face

He is made of dark coal
With a rough exterior but once you look inside
A diamond shines through

He doesn’t try to pretend to fit in
He is his own man

He holds his family and closest friends in high regards
Thinking little of himself

He does set time aside for himself
Allowing himself to enjoy life’s gifts

He uses his words and hard sweat to move him through the world to higher plains
Reaching for what most are afraid to reach for:
Happiness

His struggle
Is his individuality

His pride doesn’t destroy him
But builds him

He doesn’t lie
Because the truth is what made him

He is a well-rounded man with
Knowledge of himself
His environment
His spiritually

His life is a journey

He tries to experience
New things
New people
New ideas

He does not complain to hear himself whine
About why he didn’t get what he wanted
or
What his friend has

He is content in what he has now
Living life in the eyes of his own
His children
His wife

He is a man with more power
Than any other

His power comes from within

He can be you
Your brother
Your friend
Your father

Any man that wants truth
And happiness
Holds true power to be great

~ Yellowbonewonda  

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Keep Your Happy Ever After”

By: Yellowbonewonda

Poor, poor Cinderella

Got a question for you

How is your happy ever after?

Whoever said Cinderella had a happy ending was a liar

Cooking and cleaning

Having babies and sacrificing

Her body

Her mind

And

Her life

So her so called Prince could have a

Namesake

Another creation in his image

Another hard headed boy

or girl that will create more drama

In an already drama filled world

Cinderella was blind

Thinking that a happy ending

would come

After her gracious prince gave her

a ring

All her problems arisen from that

oh yet beautiful jestor

It created more problems

Unbearable to handle

Unbearable to control

Little ankle bitters

Pulling at her apron

Asking never-ending questions

Why this? Why that? Why, why?

If that’s not enough

crying

Crying to be changed

Crying to be feed

Crying to be held

Crying to be let go

Crying to get his or her way

Crying to avoid a spanking

Crying to hear themselves cry

Crying to annoy you

Just NON-STOP crying!!!

Cinderella was blind I tell you

That’s why you don’t hear about

after the happy ever after

Because there is none

Happy ever after is an image that

life is easy

If life was easy

Why do people

Commit suicide?

Commit murder?

Commit adultery?

Commit robbery?

Commit rape?

If life was

As easy as Disney put it

Wouldn’t we be living happily ever after

So, in short,

Keep your happy ever after and

give me a break

deal with reality

Life is messy

Life is unkind

Life is fun

Life is hard

Life is living beyond the b.s

And being happy without the happily ever after

Life is the unknown and getting through to the other side

Breathing and smiling

And going back for more

 

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Marked”

 

By: Yellowbonewonda

There is a world that is created in my mind

That I’ve been to

Where some have never visited

Or would visit

Because it’s weightless

Free

And peaceful

And it has gotten me where I am now

Marked way beyond my years

Yet

Still in a place of an innocent child

I don’t judge anyone

But everyone

On a level most are not ready to face

And

That is a level of truth

And honesty

I have little knowledge of the world

Because

It’s always changing

Some

Knowledge of the heart

Because

It’s felt joy

And

It has been broken

I have a constant tapping in my soul

By experience

What I’ve felt

Something I’ve seen

Heard

Or never had any idea of

Writing is something I fight because

At times

I am too lazy to remember

When the surge of words hit me like a tornado

Or just being stubborn

Because

I don’t want to find something to write it down with

Before the tornado disappear

I’m noticing I’m getting more lazy and stubborn each day

If I allow myself to be a vessel

You can see how words can just flow

So

Why do I fight something that comes

So easy

I say fear

Fear to commit

And fear of failure

That the words will not come no more

So what do I do

Run

Or

Write

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”