“Me Against Me”

I am
All alone
Wading
Waiting
In the middle
Of an ocean
Full of feelings
I can not trust
Trying
To figure out
A mystery
Before I drown
And it is
Too late
I need to know
Who is
The traitor
Or traitors
Inside of me
My mind
My heart
Or
Both
My mind said
Do not believe
My heart
My heart said
Do not believe
My mind
They are
Both pointing
The finger
At each other
Who is lying
Who is telling
The truth
I do not know
Which to trust
I feel
They are both
Against me
Somehow
I am
At that point
Of taking
Extreme measures
And
Stop trusting
Either of them
Because neither are
Providing information
I have zero help
To help
Myself
Something needs
To give
I need
To get out
Of this mess
This bewilderment
And heartbreak
I feel
It is
Distorting everything
That was once
Felt like
Common sense
And
I am about
To be lost
My cracks are
Showing
I am slowly
Breaking apart

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Wash Over Me”

It was partially
My fault
I accept
That part
I kept
Breathing
New life
Into something
That was dead
It will never
Be the same
That pureness
That was inside
Of me
You stabbed
My heart
And left me
For dead
All
That was good
Inside of me
Has leaked out
Leaving nothing
Left inside
The reserve tanks
They are empty
Except for fumes
Now I sit here
Impatiently
Waiting to be
Lead to
The magical waterfall
That will cascade
Over my head
Cleansing
Everything
About me
Including the hell
You put me
Through
Away
Erasing all
The things
That was haunting me
And banish you
Out of my dreams
Renewing my
Memories
So I can
Get over
All the pain
And
Tears
You left me
Swimming in
Looking
For some
Form of proof
That Love
Is still attainable
And
Not another love
Folk tale
I do not
Want to believe
That I can not have
Or
Will not have
A true love
Before I am dead

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Heartless Relations”

I finally
Discovered
How this
Relationship
Collapsed
Why coldness
Fills the inside
Of my heart
And now
How to warm it
Even after
The heartache
You put me through
I am not
Completely broken
My memories
Helped me
To see
The truth
About you
They came with
Such forcefulness
Flooding back
To tell me
A story
Our life
Played
On a big screen
In my head
As a movie
At first
It was
Too fast
But it eventually
Slowed down
Showing me
In great detail
What you did
To me
And
How you tried
To leave
Me broken
It began
By you telling
One lie
Then another lie
Building
And creating
A life
On a crooked foundation
Topped with
A house of cards
That was
Ready to crumble
At any moment
It was not
My fault
You could not
Tell the truth
I loved you
I will not
Regret it
I meant it
I was in it
It is your loss
When we
Could have
Had a beautiful
Story

-Yellowbonewonda

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“My Brain A Deadly Weapon”

The two
Deadliest people
The Assassin
That kills
For no reason
Other than money
The Bodyguard
That protects
Killing only
When provoked
When someone
Tries to
Assassinate
Their boss
While guarding them
Are inside
Of each person
Making them
The perfect weapon
To defend
Maim
Or
Kill
Anything
In its path
That cause harm
To its master
All feelings are
Locked away
In order
To think
With precision
So the hard
Decisions
Can be made
Without hesitation
After the brain
Has sensed danger
The only mission
Is to
Restore balance
At any cost
To guarantee
The heart
A fighting chance
To beat again
And
Love
Unconditionally
Without limits
I just say
As a warning
Do not
Wake up
The machine
Called the brain
I do not
Know what
It is capable of
But I know
Its agenda
Is to preserve
Love
So evil
Will not
Take over
And cause
Permanent blindness
Preventing
You to see
The good
In anybody

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Trapped By Pain’s Games”

More intimate
Than any
Of my relationships
It has been
Part of me
It knows me
Inside
And
Out
Pain
A sneaky
Cunning
Scheming
Devious
Deceitful
Unscrupulous
Son of a *itch
Has either
Been
My tormentor
Torturing me
Trying to break me
Into nothingness
Or
My lover
Loving on me
Caressing me
Sending me
Into ecstasy
Then causing
Me to cry
Afterwards
Because it
Walked out
Leaving me
For just
A moment
So I could
Panic
And
Think it
Is not coming back
It has been
Doing this
Continuously
Around the clock
Nonstop
My whole life
I can not
Escape from it
I have tried
Advoidance
Acceptance
Denial
Nothing has worked
I have
Noticed
It waits
When I feel
I am happy
It is gone
Then
It comes back
With a vengeance
Changing
Its face
And
Its strategy
To reenter
Into my life
Pain’s
Message to me
Is
It is not
Going anywhere
This burden
Will be
My baggage
That is not
Fully unpacked
Pouring out
Like
A bottomless pit
The contents
Are scattering
All around me
Boxing me in
So I can not
Move
It just
Wants me
To know
I can not
Run from it
It has me
And
Will not
Let go
NEVER

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Only Two Choices”

Everyone thinks
By making plans
Guarantees
Their future
Nothing is
Promised
To anyone
In this
Group delusion
This can all end
Immediately
Causing us to
Drop dead
Where we stand
So don’t think
You’re special
Over another
Live your life
To the fullest
And be a good person
It’s a do
Or die situation
On countdown
And no one
Knows the end game
It is his gift
To give
On how long
He will put up
With the ignorance
Of people
Stop pretending
We have control
Of life
It’s an illusion
We live in a world
Of judgement
With simple choices
Live
Die
Love
Hate
There is no room
To play
In the middle
We are all puppets
Dancing
To the tune
Of two
Grand master gamers
Be aware
All your choices
Dictates who is
Your controller
Either you
Choose God or Satan
To be
The keeper
Of your soul
This will be
The most
Important decision
You’d make
So don’t order
Like you’re
Buying a Starbucks
This is for
Eternity
An Infinitant decision
Nothing to be
Taken lightly

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Need An Advocate For My Life”

Do I keep
Walking
Or stand still
Until someone
Comes to
Find me
Waiting feels
Like a lifetime
And dying
Is an eternity
Either way
I risk
Being lost
It’s hell
In the middle of
Somewhere
Surrounded
By nothing
Wondering
Aimlessly
With
No direction
Just walking
In circles
Like I’m crazy
Looking
For something
That is rare
And hard to find
A piece
Of happiness
In the form
Of two pills
One states
Lie down
On my back
And die
The other
States
Stand tall
on my feet
And fight
To the death
If I have to
Either fate
By my hands
Are
Bad versus worst
Case scenario
I need
Something
More drastic
Taking all worries
Away
Of picking
The wrong one
So I’m
Giving it over
To a judger
A devil’s advocate
That is
Capable
Of weeding out
The ungrateful
And
The unworthy
With specific
Instructions
To give
My heart
To the one
Ready to die
For me
In order
To live
Forever
Up
In heaven
Beside me
With no
Fear
Deceit
Or
Heartache
To come
Home to

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I Value My Safety”

Why is it
That some people
Include me
In games
I don’t want
To play
Too many people
Putting me
In deadly situations
With riddles
That don’t
Make sense
And no
Plausible answers
To guess
I’m hanging
From
Death traps
I can not
Escape
There are no
Safety nets
To catch me
From sudden death

I’m a guareenteed
Loser
In this game
When there
Are no
Rules
To keep me safe
I can not
Understand
Why there are
People
Happy at
Putting me
In danger
Because
They believe
My safety is
Not a value
To them
I am not
Put here
To be
Played with
Or
Entertainment
For people
That are
Unhappy
With their
Life

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Island Of Our Own”

All I ask
Is that you
Promise
Yourself
That you
Will surrender
Your stress
Lock it up
Keeping it
Away from
This happiness
With both
Want to share
The pain you
Had before me
Don’t give
It so
Much control
Just
Direct all
Your senses
And
Concentrate
On us
Let’s stay
In our world
Our own piece
Of heaven
In the center
Of a
Complicated world
No outside
Madness
Will ever
Enter
What
Is outside
Stays outside
Where it can’t
Hurt us
Never
Destroying
What we’ve grown
This kingdom
Is no kingdom
Without this bond
I will always
Be your refuge
And you will be mine
So
Let me
Be that
Barbed wire
Surrounding
Protecting
And
Keeping you
Mentally
And
Emotionally strong
Don’t worry
All trespasses
Will not enter
So relax
And let go
Leaving all
Your worries
Behind you
When you
Come across
This heavenly
Threshold
Where we
Have built
A strong foundation
I can guarantee
All our past
Sweat and tears
Will hold
It up
In any storm
No weathering
Or
Taking shelter
Anywhere else
We are home

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Laid In Front Of You”

Two glasses
On a table
Rotated to
Your point
Of view
It does not
Matter
Everyone else
Sees it as
Wrong
But you
Say it
Ain’t so
Your reasoning
Is warped
You will never
See
The truth
Even if
It was
Presented right
In front
Of you
My conclusion
Is I’m damned
In whatever
I do
I will never
Have the chance
To be
A part of
Your life
I’m forever
At arms length
Doubted
With no
Reason
To back it up
I’m feeling
Some type of way
Because you lied
You put me
In this position
Making me
Feel like
I’m the one
That is wrong
And blind
To the truth
I shouldn’t have
To defend myself
When I’ve
Committed no crime
Against you
You are the one
That let your
Past and enemies
Condemn me
Someone else
Made the decision
To hurt you
That was them
Not me
I’ve been here
Standing steadfast
Beside you
Never faltering
Real and confident
In every step
I made with you
I laid everything
About me
Out on the table
You should
Know me
My heart
My story
And my character
Nothing has
Ever changed
I’ve been the same
Person
I hate how
You say
You want
Someone real
But keep
Doing stupid
Things to offend me
Stop taking it
Out on me
I’ve never
Turned my back
Once on you
I was the one
That told you
You was family
And
Embraced you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Inexcusable Behaviour”

I’ve recorded
And analyzed
Everything
Mentally
Never
Forgetting
The lies
That left
Your mouth
So easily
I won’t
Forget
That you lied
Straight to
My face
I remembered it
As if it
Was yesterday
So vividly
I can still
Taste
The hate
That spued from
Your mouth
You lacked
Self-respect
And all dignity
Your
Actions
Spoke
With fluidity
While slug
And sewage
Poured
Slowly
From all your
Crevices
Stinking up
The air
There was
No way
To breath
Around your
Poisonous
Toxicity
The habits
You’ve developed
From your past
Is hindering you
And
You’ve formed a
Very distinctive
Pelicular feature
That shields you
You are unable
To respect
Those good
To you
But today
My truth
Will be
Smacking you
I was born
With the capability
Of seeing
Truth
And
Bull shit
Around me
I treat
Your words as
Little Particles
Floating
In the air
About to plague
My environment
With a
Virus
With no cure
For me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Not In Line For You”

You said
You would
Need me
Want me
And
Love me
And only me
For life
But it wasn’t
The truth
Your sidechick
I guess
Had enough
Of you
Telling her
You would
Leave me
Divorce me
And make
Her your
New wife
You had
No intentions
In leaving
Her
Nor I
And that became
Your biggest mistake
You put
Your trust
In a scorned
Woman
With secrets
You kept
From me
And she got
Tired of
Your many excuses
She did
What she felt
Would make
Her happy
With one click
Destroying us
Sending
All the
Proof of
Your explicit
Relationship
Letters
Videos
Chats
In black
White
And color
Your cheating
Has costed
Us everything
It was
An ultimate kill
Killing us
Quickly

I will not
Be the other woman
Waiting in line
For you
I gave you
All of me
You threw
It away
For a romp in
The hay
With someone
Otherthan me
Imploding
Everything
That mattered
Between us
There is
No way
To fixing
This mess
You created
Call her up
I know
She’s waiting for you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“My Enemy Of My Enemy”

You live
With them
Everyday
Going to
Family events
Birthdays
Funerals
And
Holidays
You shouldn’t
Have to
Be afraid
Of what
They will
Do behind
Your back
But you are
You can’t
Trust them
As far as
You can throw
Them
It’s that
Heartbreaking
Saying
Who needs
Enemies
When you have
Family
No stranger can
Do worst
Than them
Than people
Closer to you
They know
You better
Than anyone
They are family
Your secrets
Are their ammunition
And they use
Them
Like bullets
Hitting you
In rapid
Fire sessions
Center mass
Shredding your heart
Into pieces
Guaranteeing no
Chance of rescuitation
All that’s
Needed to
Be done
Is to
Pronounce you
DOA
At the scene

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Karma Will Get You”

I feel
Every time
I’m around you
I’m dry drowning
In front of you
I can not depend
On you
To save me
If I do
I should
Give up now
Lay down
And let mother nature
End my pain
And
Devour me
It’s just
The realization
I’ve come to
I’ve realized you
Will never
Attempt to come
To my rescue
You’re a liar
Manipulator
A con artist
You lie
About everything
Telling everyone
The sky is gray
When everyone
Sees it’s blue
You have never
Told the truth
To save one life
Including yours
That’s why
You are dead inside
God forbid
If you ever
Said to anyone
I put it on my
Mother
Father
Brother
Sister
Daughter
Son
Life
Everyone would
Fall dead then
No one will
Survive your curse
On them
You would like it
Wouldn’t you
You’re delusional
If you believe
You’ve fooled
The world
Your obsession
With yourself
Is clear as
A sunny day
In June
You want what
You want
At any cost
Not caring
Who gets hurt
In the process
You have
No heart
To give
And
Compassion
Is a curse word
If anyone
Ask for it
From you
You are evil
You get kicks
And thrills
Out of
Tormenting
People
God
Does not like ugly
You will get yours
I don’t have
To do nothing
To you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Grow Up Or Leave”

I’m not
That other
Woman that
You had
Last
In your bed
I can not
Be
In a relationship
With a man child
I’m grown
Looking for
A grown up
Relationship
I’m only
Accepting
To live
My life
With man
I don’t want
To have to
Break it down
Every time
We talk
As if you’re
My child
Your mother
Raised you
I should be
Reaping the benefits
Of her
Hard work
Giving you
Values
Morals
And
Common sense
Yet I’m talking
Slow and carefully
Pronouncing each word
Almost sounding
Them out
So you don’t
Get lost
Sit back
Listen to
A grown person
Speak
Learn
Something

Before you
Bounce
A check
You can not cash
You are too
Busy trying
To over talk
Me
But you haven’t
Heard a word
I said
You’re in over
Your head
Too stubborn
Full of yourself
You are not seeing
Past your
Pride
Your ego is bruised
You are
Quick to fight
Ready for action
No talking
Or listening
To my side
You would rather
Have things
Get out of hand
Being a type of
Man
That will
Lose everything
Quicker than
A blink
Because you’re not
Noticing
I’m one step
From throwing
In the towel
Leaving
And not returning
Again
Don’t punish me
Because
You don’t like
My answers
I gave
To questions
That don’t
Make sense
You haven’t
Proved your case
In the least
I haven’t lied
I won’t
Admit to anything
Not the truth
Either believe me
Or leave me
I will not satisfy
Your rants
Grow up and
Stop acting
Like an a$$

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Waiting On Destiny”

This feeling
I’m feeling
Is foreign
To me
I do not
Feel
Like
Me
It’s a stranger
With my face
In front of me
Staring through the
Mirror
Right
At me
I am
A million miles
Away from
Where I want
To be
In my dreams
In my reality
I’m
No where
But in space
Floating about
Aimlessly
My life is
Not
A Happy one
Not
A Sad one
Either
I’m
Just part
Of
An existence
Not yet
Able to
Reach my
Full potential
And being who
I need to be
My hand is raised
Like
I’m in class
Waiting on
The teacher
To count me
I’m one of those
People
Waiting on
Destiny
I’m in line
For greatness
And I’m not moving
Until I see
The path
I should take
To get me there
The almighty has
Blessed and engrained
Patience inside
Of me
So I will wait
On him
And only him
To guide me
I know it
Will be marvelous
A phenomenon
That all will
Want to see
I will be
His masterpiece
Being what
I should be
And
Not what I want
To be

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Fountain Of Youth”

I gave
My love
Freely
Being
Deaf
Blind
And
Stupid
All together
Misguided in the game
Of love
Giving too much
Too soon
Being all in
On love
Giving
One hundred percent
Before I knew
You better
You
Kept your distance
But reeled me in
While still remaining
To be a stranger
Refusing to give
Your entire heart
Or even a piece
Of it
Yet I still
Did not
See it as
A game
You were playing
I should have
Known better
I gave
My youth
To you
And you did not
Deserve it
You was
A taker
And not a giver
You loved
Bathing
In my tears
On a daily
Not caring
About your actions
You thrived on
Making me weaker
As you grew strong
While laughing
At my
Crippling demeanor
Now when
I looked
In the mirror
I see
Something that’s
Not me
A Weak
Broken
Woman
I had to finally
Face myself
The truth was
You was never
My hero
Just
Low level zero
That played me
I wish
I had noticed
It sooner
I was
Hell bent
Being in loving
With someone
I did not
Want to see
Anything clearer
I was denial
I have to
Stop searching
For love
In all the wrong places
Then blaming others
On my bad decisions
I stayed
Too long
In a situation
Where I was
Slowly dying
And recharging
Someone else’s
Power

-Yellowbonewonda

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“It’s On You”

You give
Undeserving
People
Permission
To continue
Doing the
Same thing
Over
and over again
To you
They are not
The villain
In your heroic
Story
Of being the
Only good
Person
That shit
Just happens to
Everyone
Sees
What you’re
Too blind to see
You’re in love
With love
And if
It’s your choice
To continue
With the game
You are playing
You can not
Keep asking
To change the rules
A skunk
Is a skunk
You can not change
The smell
That it sprays on you
It’s just
Not going to happen
Either
Accept them
As is
A piece of
Foul smelling
Crap
Or keep it moving
You’re no longer
A victim
The only enemy
You truly have
Is the person
Standing on
The other
Side of the mirror
Looking back at you
The reflection
Can be scary
To look at
But you have
To confront
Those sad little
Psyches inside
Of you
If you
Continue
Down the road
Of self destruction
It’s your road
To travel
You can not
Keep blaming
People that use you
Once you’ve
Discovered
Their motives
Of taking everything
Away from you
Your choices are clear
Either stay
Or go
And
If you choose
To stay
Stop being angry
And pretending
That you are feed up
Every time
They disappoint you
You won’t leave
You rather have
Half or three fourths
Of a person
Than find
Someone better
For you
You love
That misery
Keeps your bed
Warm at night
To be with
A taker
A liar
And a cheater
Hmmm
The answer should
Be clear
NO
Right
Yet that is not
The answer
Everyone thought
You would choose
You do not
Want anything better
Than what
You already have
Now
And it is
Nothing

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Books Unopened”

This pure love
Comes in a
Tarnished package
Covered in dirt
And grim
To hide among us
Confusing almost everyone
But the ones ready
To see
It’s value
You will
Never understand
Unless you’re open
To why your heart
Is not full
And
Does not beat
Strong
Calm
And
Steadily
It’s because you are
Missing out on
A love
So true
It is
Beyond the physical
It’s something
Of a spiritual connection
That is
Extraordinary
And a privilege
For those
That are willing
To love unconditionally
Taking it as a gift
And handling it
With special care
Like a museum curator
Opening it carefully
In a white room
With white gloves
Avoiding
Contamination
Trying not to
Lose it’s value
These beautiful spirits
Are rare books
In the library
And
Once you’ve read them
They will bring
New life
To everything
It’s up
To you
To continue
From the first page
To the last page
To see 
What lies beneath
The  surface
A marvellous story
Will be told
And will include you
It is a priceless
Experience
So
Wonderful
To know such
An
Amazing
Blessed
Anointed individual
That God wanted
To bless you with
To walk
Hand and hand
Through
Life
For Eternity

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Cupid’s Plan”

I could not evade
And escape
Cupid’s arrows
Forever
I gave up
And allowed it to
Pierce me right
Through my heart
Creating a wonderful havoc
That uprooted my world
Today
Love and insanity
Took over me
Making me
Go against
All my rules
My common sense
Went out the window
I was caught
In a forceful attraction
Causing me to
Spin out of control
I’m in love
And in lust
With the one
And only
Person in this world
That is
My soulmate
My best friend
My confidant
Who knows me well
I was yours
I could not
Resist
I fell fast
And got entangled
Into your passionate gaze
Looking steadily
And intently
I felt
Confined and cornered
All my life
Until
My mind
Body
And Soul
Connected
On all levels
With yours
We became One
It was an
Overwhelming
Exhilarating
Joy
It’s like a dream
Come true
You
Wanting me
Needing me
And
Embracing our love
As we
Come together
Our clothes
Dropping to the floor
One by one
Teasing our loins
Anticipating
The feeling when
Will we feel
The passion
That is building up
Beneath these clothes
I’m begging
Please
Please
Kiss me
Caress me
And pentratrate
My walls
Fill me
With the utmost estascy
That is
Beyond
This realm
Of this
Destined love

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“In Your Feelings”

By: Yellowbonewonda

Just because
I don’t answer
When you call
Or talk to you
On a regular
Does not mean
I’m ignoring you
$hit rises
And falls
Without warning
Life happens
And human factors
Become unexpected parts
Of the damn equation
Assumptions
Will get you
Blacklisted
Your choices
Will be
To be burned
Recycled
Or buried somewhere
In the middle
Of nowhere
Don’t have
Conversations
In your head
And conclude
Before asking
Wait to see
If there is
A good reason
Check your attitude
Before you get
Your @ss handed to you
It’s not necessary
To become
A code 187
Murdering your chances
Because you didn’t
Come correct
Because of your
Biased conversations
Between
You
Yourself
And your @sshole
They are all wrong
In their three way
Conviction
Without a trial
To hear evidence
That opposed them
Get out of your feelings
You’re not the center
Of anyone’s universe
So take caution
Before approaching
Any situation
Nothing is
As it seems
What’s happening
In this world
Could be serious
And you are
In some unwarranted
Emotions
Choosing the wrong way
And now there is
A declaration
Of war
And you are
Being killed off
With no compassion
Empthy
Or sympathy
Because of your
Blind approach
On your decisions
To being froggy
Leaping before looking
Then crashing and burning

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“No One Else Is Invited”

There are
Two invitations
To the unknown
One for you
The other for me
No need to RSVP
Time is
Infinite
Location
Where we can be free
To do what adults do
Being entrapped
In a
Seduction dance
That can go
All night
Carrying out
All of our little
Nasty fantasies
It’s time
To explore
Together
Uncharted territory
Let us map
A new discovery
Down my chest
Between the mountains
To my secret valley
A paradise
Where we can
Moan
And groan
Together
Touching
Caressing
Kissing
Each other
Intertwining
Our bodies
Until we reach estascy

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Jacked Up And Pissed”

We are lined
Up to be slaughtered
By a system
With no feelings
Cold
Calculating
Full of deception
They don’t call
You by your name
Or know your face
From Adam or Eve
Just by
Your social security
Branded on your @ss
At birth
They sit behind
A desk
Pushing paper
Shuffling us
Until we fall
Through the cracks
We are the
The injuried
The dying
And the helpless
Our pain
And
Our tears
Go unseen
Our begging
And
Pleading
Go unheard
The deaf
The blind
And the belligerent
Are in charge
And have authority
Of who lives
Or dies
Back to work
Light duty
Or permanently disabled
Is a label
Given to you
When you are caught
In their system
These people
Work in their offices
Feeding on the public
With no compassion
Ignoring the human factor
And
Seeing us
As cents
Dollars
And decimal points
They don’t care
About legitimacy
Or confirming tests
Stating truth
It’s bull$hit
We are put
Out to pasture
Wrapped in red tape
Left to find
Our way out
While they
Refuse to
Pay
A dime
For any recovery
They hold out
Until you’re close to dead
Or burnt out
From pure exhaustion

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Animal Insincts”

I’m reduced to
Waiting for someone
To feed me my food
Through a closed
Fortified door

People still feel my frustration
Fearing my aggressiveness
Afraid of my sharp teeth
And razor cut claws
These prison guards know
How much I hunger for freedom
And if they make one slip up
I won’t waste my opportunity
They think I am the lesser of humanity
That my life is not valuable as any other life
On this Earth
I watch as they Kill us
One by one as if it’s for sport
Mounting our heads on their wall
As if it was a fair fight
Using bullets
Tazers and tranquilizer darts
Pretending to be the ultimate predator
But come at me without your weapons
And you will see my aggressive nature
I have been a caged animal
For so long
Captured by man
Taken from my home
Separated from my pride
A magnificent beast
I was
Full of life
No one could compare me
To any other
I turned heads by my shining grace
I was a majestic royal
I made the laws of the lands
Even though it’s confusing
I was feared by everyone
And loved by all
Top of the food chain
Inside my own domain
Now I’m reduced to
People’s amusement
They point and laugh
At my sadness
I’m stuck in this cage
Missing my home
Imprisoned for the rest of my life
I’m disappearing
Diminishing to a mere house pet
I must remember everyday
And not be broken down
I am a fierce predator
That stands in front of you
I have strong bloodlines
Coursing through my veins
Calming my spirit
Encouraging me to imagine
The crisp air back home
Feeding the predator in me
I am not just an animal
And it doesn’t
Give you
The right
To erase my kind
As if we don’t matter
I am a determined
To get back to my family
You will not be
Stuffing or mounting me
Any time in the near future

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Breaking Down”

I have not done it in awhile
But I had a good reason
My body was not prepared
For the new stretches

Muscles have weakened
Stiff and not as limber
As it once was
Only a few years ago

I bent over to
Touch my toes
As I came up
I stopped

Suddenly half way up
I grabbed
Under my breast
Swelling had already set in

As big as my palm
Increasing by the second
Almost covering half my body
Over my ribs

It felt so unnatural
All I could do was
Hold on to dear life
To a chair arms length away
from me

The pain was nothing
I could walk off
My eyes teared up
Someone noticed

Causing panic all around me
People rushing to my rescue
My silence and facial expressions
Said it all

I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t breathe
I could only hear the person

Standing next to me
Holding me up
Saying
Take a slow

Deep breath
Breathe breathe
Don’t tense up
It wasn’t working

The attention of everyone staring
Made me more anxious
I was panicking
The surges were hitting me

Worser than the other
Getting rapid and stronger
Coming one after another
Not giving me a chance to catch my breath

Don’t touch me
Don’t move me
Played in my head
Just leave me be

I can get through this
Don’t bother
It was as if something was moving
Under my chest outward

It felt like a ripple effect
As if someone
Had thrown a pebble
Into a body of still water

Causing
A sound so clear
But faint
And if you turned away

Before the pebble hit
You miss the awesomeness
In seeing something so small
Causing water

To move in rapid motion
Creating mini
Circles
Expanding bigger and bigger

Until it disappears
But to me
It was not awesomeness
It was pure torture

So bad I felt like I was having
An out of body experience
Escaping for a moment
Until it was safe

To re-enter
I would not
Wish this pain
On my worst enemy

I hate being this broken
Helpless
And so angry
Because no one knows how to fix me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Shadow Games”

I am not satisfied
Not by the food I eat
Not by the career I chose
Not even my purpose in this life

I question myself on a daily
Where am I going
In this lifetime
I have been wondering aimlessly
Far too long

I am hungry for something
That feels so far
Out of my reach
This craving has created sleepless nights
Making me delirious and crazy

It has me spinning in circles
Chasing my tail
I am so clueless
I do not know what I want

Or what direction to go
I am a dog looking for my bone
Unsure
Where I buried it

It seems I’ve been searching
For what I’ve been missing inside myself
So long it’s becoming an unsolvable mystery
My anxiety has been building up

Feels like a volcano
Ready to erupt
Flowing out Hot lava
Burning everything it touches

This hunger of mine
Is a torturous thing
Never giving me peace
My stomach is always rumbling

As if I am starving
But I skip no meals
I have always cleared my plate
I eat everything

Getting my nourishment
It’s not enough
I have never felt full
A familiar emptiness

That has been with me
Since my first breath
That has grown stronger and stronger
Day after day

I am being pulled
In all directions
I feel I’m coming undone
I am afraid

That what I’m searching and craving for
May never be found
My hunger is leading me blindly
Only to have me chasing shadows

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”