“I Value My Safety”

Why is it
That some people
Include me
In games
I don’t want
To play
Too many people
Putting me
In deadly situations
With riddles
That don’t
Make sense
And no
Plausible answers
To guess
I’m hanging
From
Death traps
I can not
Escape
There are no
Safety nets
To catch me
From sudden death

I’m a guareenteed
Loser
In this game
When there
Are no
Rules
To keep me safe
I can not
Understand
Why there are
People
Happy at
Putting me
In danger
Because
They believe
My safety is
Not a value
To them
I am not
Put here
To be
Played with
Or
Entertainment
For people
That are
Unhappy
With their
Life

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Inexcusable Behaviour”

I’ve recorded
And analyzed
Everything
Mentally
Never
Forgetting
The lies
That left
Your mouth
So easily
I won’t
Forget
That you lied
Straight to
My face
I remembered it
As if it
Was yesterday
So vividly
I can still
Taste
The hate
That spued from
Your mouth
You lacked
Self-respect
And all dignity
Your
Actions
Spoke
With fluidity
While slug
And sewage
Poured
Slowly
From all your
Crevices
Stinking up
The air
There was
No way
To breath
Around your
Poisonous
Toxicity
The habits
You’ve developed
From your past
Is hindering you
And
You’ve formed a
Very distinctive
Pelicular feature
That shields you
You are unable
To respect
Those good
To you
But today
My truth
Will be
Smacking you
I was born
With the capability
Of seeing
Truth
And
Bull shit
Around me
I treat
Your words as
Little Particles
Floating
In the air
About to plague
My environment
With a
Virus
With no cure
For me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Not In Line For You”

You said
You would
Need me
Want me
And
Love me
And only me
For life
But it wasn’t
The truth
Your sidechick
I guess
Had enough
Of you
Telling her
You would
Leave me
Divorce me
And make
Her your
New wife
You had
No intentions
In leaving
Her
Nor I
And that became
Your biggest mistake
You put
Your trust
In a scorned
Woman
With secrets
You kept
From me
And she got
Tired of
Your many excuses
She did
What she felt
Would make
Her happy
With one click
Destroying us
Sending
All the
Proof of
Your explicit
Relationship
Letters
Videos
Chats
In black
White
And color
Your cheating
Has costed
Us everything
It was
An ultimate kill
Killing us
Quickly

I will not
Be the other woman
Waiting in line
For you
I gave you
All of me
You threw
It away
For a romp in
The hay
With someone
Otherthan me
Imploding
Everything
That mattered
Between us
There is
No way
To fixing
This mess
You created
Call her up
I know
She’s waiting for you

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Karma Will Get You”

I feel
Every time
I’m around you
I’m dry drowning
In front of you
I can not depend
On you
To save me
If I do
I should
Give up now
Lay down
And let mother nature
End my pain
And
Devour me
It’s just
The realization
I’ve come to
I’ve realized you
Will never
Attempt to come
To my rescue
You’re a liar
Manipulator
A con artist
You lie
About everything
Telling everyone
The sky is gray
When everyone
Sees it’s blue
You have never
Told the truth
To save one life
Including yours
That’s why
You are dead inside
God forbid
If you ever
Said to anyone
I put it on my
Mother
Father
Brother
Sister
Daughter
Son
Life
Everyone would
Fall dead then
No one will
Survive your curse
On them
You would like it
Wouldn’t you
You’re delusional
If you believe
You’ve fooled
The world
Your obsession
With yourself
Is clear as
A sunny day
In June
You want what
You want
At any cost
Not caring
Who gets hurt
In the process
You have
No heart
To give
And
Compassion
Is a curse word
If anyone
Ask for it
From you
You are evil
You get kicks
And thrills
Out of
Tormenting
People
God
Does not like ugly
You will get yours
I don’t have
To do nothing
To you

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Fountain Of Youth”

I gave
My love
Freely
Being
Deaf
Blind
And
Stupid
All together
Misguided in the game
Of love
Giving too much
Too soon
Being all in
On love
Giving
One hundred percent
Before I knew
You better
You
Kept your distance
But reeled me in
While still remaining
To be a stranger
Refusing to give
Your entire heart
Or even a piece
Of it
Yet I still
Did not
See it as
A game
You were playing
I should have
Known better
I gave
My youth
To you
And you did not
Deserve it
You was
A taker
And not a giver
You loved
Bathing
In my tears
On a daily
Not caring
About your actions
You thrived on
Making me weaker
As you grew strong
While laughing
At my
Crippling demeanor
Now when
I looked
In the mirror
I see
Something that’s
Not me
A Weak
Broken
Woman
I had to finally
Face myself
The truth was
You was never
My hero
Just
Low level zero
That played me
I wish
I had noticed
It sooner
I was
Hell bent
Being in loving
With someone
I did not
Want to see
Anything clearer
I was denial
I have to
Stop searching
For love
In all the wrong places
Then blaming others
On my bad decisions
I stayed
Too long
In a situation
Where I was
Slowly dying
And recharging
Someone else’s
Power

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“It’s On You”

You give
Undeserving
People
Permission
To continue
Doing the
Same thing
Over
and over again
To you
They are not
The villain
In your heroic
Story
Of being the
Only good
Person
That shit
Just happens to
Everyone
Sees
What you’re
Too blind to see
You’re in love
With love
And if
It’s your choice
To continue
With the game
You are playing
You can not
Keep asking
To change the rules
A skunk
Is a skunk
You can not change
The smell
That it sprays on you
It’s just
Not going to happen
Either
Accept them
As is
A piece of
Foul smelling
Crap
Or keep it moving
You’re no longer
A victim
The only enemy
You truly have
Is the person
Standing on
The other
Side of the mirror
Looking back at you
The reflection
Can be scary
To look at
But you have
To confront
Those sad little
Psyches inside
Of you
If you
Continue
Down the road
Of self destruction
It’s your road
To travel
You can not
Keep blaming
People that use you
Once you’ve
Discovered
Their motives
Of taking everything
Away from you
Your choices are clear
Either stay
Or go
And
If you choose
To stay
Stop being angry
And pretending
That you are feed up
Every time
They disappoint you
You won’t leave
You rather have
Half or three fourths
Of a person
Than find
Someone better
For you
You love
That misery
Keeps your bed
Warm at night
To be with
A taker
A liar
And a cheater
Hmmm
The answer should
Be clear
NO
Right
Yet that is not
The answer
Everyone thought
You would choose
You do not
Want anything better
Than what
You already have
Now
And it is
Nothing

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Jacked Up And Pissed”

We are lined
Up to be slaughtered
By a system
With no feelings
Cold
Calculating
Full of deception
They don’t call
You by your name
Or know your face
From Adam or Eve
Just by
Your social security
Branded on your @ss
At birth
They sit behind
A desk
Pushing paper
Shuffling us
Until we fall
Through the cracks
We are the
The injuried
The dying
And the helpless
Our pain
And
Our tears
Go unseen
Our begging
And
Pleading
Go unheard
The deaf
The blind
And the belligerent
Are in charge
And have authority
Of who lives
Or dies
Back to work
Light duty
Or permanently disabled
Is a label
Given to you
When you are caught
In their system
These people
Work in their offices
Feeding on the public
With no compassion
Ignoring the human factor
And
Seeing us
As cents
Dollars
And decimal points
They don’t care
About legitimacy
Or confirming tests
Stating truth
It’s bull$hit
We are put
Out to pasture
Wrapped in red tape
Left to find
Our way out
While they
Refuse to
Pay
A dime
For any recovery
They hold out
Until you’re close to dead
Or burnt out
From pure exhaustion

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.

“Animal Insincts”

I’m reduced to
Waiting for someone
To feed me my food
Through a closed
Fortified door

People still feel my frustration
Fearing my aggressiveness
Afraid of my sharp teeth
And razor cut claws
These prison guards know
How much I hunger for freedom
And if they make one slip up
I won’t waste my opportunity
They think I am the lesser of humanity
That my life is not valuable as any other life
On this Earth
I watch as they Kill us
One by one as if it’s for sport
Mounting our heads on their wall
As if it was a fair fight
Using bullets
Tazers and tranquilizer darts
Pretending to be the ultimate predator
But come at me without your weapons
And you will see my aggressive nature
I have been a caged animal
For so long
Captured by man
Taken from my home
Separated from my pride
A magnificent beast
I was
Full of life
No one could compare me
To any other
I turned heads by my shining grace
I was a majestic royal
I made the laws of the lands
Even though it’s confusing
I was feared by everyone
And loved by all
Top of the food chain
Inside my own domain
Now I’m reduced to
People’s amusement
They point and laugh
At my sadness
I’m stuck in this cage
Missing my home
Imprisoned for the rest of my life
I’m disappearing
Diminishing to a mere house pet
I must remember everyday
And not be broken down
I am a fierce predator
That stands in front of you
I have strong bloodlines
Coursing through my veins
Calming my spirit
Encouraging me to imagine
The crisp air back home
Feeding the predator in me
I am not just an animal
And it doesn’t
Give you
The right
To erase my kind
As if we don’t matter
I am a determined
To get back to my family
You will not be
Stuffing or mounting me
Any time in the near future

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“I’m Here For You”

When you’re feeling down
You can’t sleep
My sleep
Is not your problem

Talk
Decompress
Voice your frustrations
My ears are always yours

I will listen
And reassure you
This is another test
That we will pass together

I may not agree
With your choices
Or the way you
Live your life

I’m not here
To judge you
That’s only
For the almighty

If I said
I am your best friend
Your lover
Your companion

I am whatever
You need me to be
I have
Only one condition

Don’t ever
Betray or
Cause irreparable harm
To me

I will always be there for you
Being your
Negotiator
And a cheerleader

To cheer you on
To give you encouragement
To tell you the truth
To talk you off the ledge

That you are so close to
Jumping off of
Stop
Look

I’m Standing
Right there
Beside you
Holding your hand so tightly

My spirit
Will always be there
My love
Will always surround you

I am not a person
That will give up on you
I will never kick you any further
When you’re already so far down

At your lowest
In a hole
So deep
The air is smothering

Reach for my hand
It is your choice to take it
I will protect you
As if I’m your guardian angel

That feeling of pain
Doubt
And the urge of giving up
When there is no one else around to help you

I am not those other people
I’m in your life
Stopping believing
Those demons

Clouding your head
You are never alone
If I a capable
I will get to you

When you really need me
There is no expiration
Of what I am to you
So don’t hesitate to call on me

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Breaking Down”

I have not done it in awhile
But I had a good reason
My body was not prepared
For the new stretches

Muscles have weakened
Stiff and not as limber
As it once was
Only a few years ago

I bent over to
Touch my toes
As I came up
I stopped

Suddenly half way up
I grabbed
Under my breast
Swelling had already set in

As big as my palm
Increasing by the second
Almost covering half my body
Over my ribs

It felt so unnatural
All I could do was
Hold on to dear life
To a chair arms length away
from me

The pain was nothing
I could walk off
My eyes teared up
Someone noticed

Causing panic all around me
People rushing to my rescue
My silence and facial expressions
Said it all

I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t breathe
I could only hear the person

Standing next to me
Holding me up
Saying
Take a slow

Deep breath
Breathe breathe
Don’t tense up
It wasn’t working

The attention of everyone staring
Made me more anxious
I was panicking
The surges were hitting me

Worser than the other
Getting rapid and stronger
Coming one after another
Not giving me a chance to catch my breath

Don’t touch me
Don’t move me
Played in my head
Just leave me be

I can get through this
Don’t bother
It was as if something was moving
Under my chest outward

It felt like a ripple effect
As if someone
Had thrown a pebble
Into a body of still water

Causing
A sound so clear
But faint
And if you turned away

Before the pebble hit
You miss the awesomeness
In seeing something so small
Causing water

To move in rapid motion
Creating mini
Circles
Expanding bigger and bigger

Until it disappears
But to me
It was not awesomeness
It was pure torture

So bad I felt like I was having
An out of body experience
Escaping for a moment
Until it was safe

To re-enter
I would not
Wish this pain
On my worst enemy

I hate being this broken
Helpless
And so angry
Because no one knows how to fix me

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Shadow Games”

I am not satisfied
Not by the food I eat
Not by the career I chose
Not even my purpose in this life

I question myself on a daily
Where am I going
In this lifetime
I have been wondering aimlessly
Far too long

I am hungry for something
That feels so far
Out of my reach
This craving has created sleepless nights
Making me delirious and crazy

It has me spinning in circles
Chasing my tail
I am so clueless
I do not know what I want

Or what direction to go
I am a dog looking for my bone
Unsure
Where I buried it

It seems I’ve been searching
For what I’ve been missing inside myself
So long it’s becoming an unsolvable mystery
My anxiety has been building up

Feels like a volcano
Ready to erupt
Flowing out Hot lava
Burning everything it touches

This hunger of mine
Is a torturous thing
Never giving me peace
My stomach is always rumbling

As if I am starving
But I skip no meals
I have always cleared my plate
I eat everything

Getting my nourishment
It’s not enough
I have never felt full
A familiar emptiness

That has been with me
Since my first breath
That has grown stronger and stronger
Day after day

I am being pulled
In all directions
I feel I’m coming undone
I am afraid

That what I’m searching and craving for
May never be found
My hunger is leading me blindly
Only to have me chasing shadows

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”