“Trapped By Pain’s Games”

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More intimate
Than any
Of my relationships
It has been
Part of me
It knows me
Inside
And
Out
Pain
A sneaky
Cunning
Scheming
Devious
Deceitful
Unscrupulous
Son of a *itch
Has either
Been
My tormentor
Torturing me
Trying to break me
Into nothingness
Or
My lover
Loving on me
Caressing me
Sending me
Into ecstasy
Then causing
Me to cry
Afterwards
Because it
Walked out
Leaving me
For just
A moment
So I could
Panic
And
Think it
Is not coming back
It has been
Doing this
Continuously
Around the clock
Nonstop
My whole life
I can not
Escape from it
I have tried
Advoidance
Acceptance
Denial
Nothing has worked
I have
Noticed
It waits
When I feel
I am happy
It is gone
Then
It comes back
With a vengeance
Changing
Its face
And
Its strategy
To reenter
Into my life
Pain’s
Message to me
Is
It is not
Going anywhere
This burden
Will be
My baggage
That is not
Fully unpacked
Pouring out
Like
A bottomless pit
The contents
Are scattering
All around me
Boxing me in
So I can not
Move
It just
Wants me
To know
I can not
Run from it
It has me
And
Will not
Let go
NEVER

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I Value My Safety”

Why is it
That some people
Include me
In games
I don’t want
To play
Too many people
Putting me
In deadly situations
With riddles
That don’t
Make sense
And no
Plausible answers
To guess
I’m hanging
From
Death traps
I can not
Escape
There are no
Safety nets
To catch me
From sudden death

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I’m a guareenteed
Loser
In this game
When there
Are no
Rules
To keep me safe
I can not
Understand
Why there are
People
Happy at
Putting me
In danger
Because
They believe
My safety is
Not a value
To them
I am not
Put here
To be
Played with
Or
Entertainment
For people
That are
Unhappy
With their
Life

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Island Of Our Own”

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All I ask
Is that you
Promise
Yourself
That you
Will surrender
Your stress
Lock it up
Keeping it
Away from
This happiness
With both
Want to share
The pain you
Had before me
Don’t give
It so
Much control
Just
Direct all
Your senses
And
Concentrate
On us
Let’s stay
In our world
Our own piece
Of heaven
In the center
Of a
Complicated world
No outside
Madness
Will ever
Enter
What
Is outside
Stays outside
Where it can’t
Hurt us
Never
Destroying
What we’ve grown
This kingdom
Is no kingdom
Without this bond
I will always
Be your refuge
And you will be mine
So
Let me
Be that
Barbed wire
Surrounding
Protecting
And
Keeping you
Mentally
And
Emotionally strong
Don’t worry
All trespasses
Will not enter
So relax
And let go
Leaving all
Your worries
Behind you
When you
Come across
This heavenly
Threshold
Where we
Have built
A strong foundation
I can guarantee
All our past
Sweat and tears
Will hold
It up
In any storm
No weathering
Or
Taking shelter
Anywhere else
We are home

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Deeper Than The Physical”

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Under the surface
Is a glorious beauty
In the depths
Of select souls
In this world
They bring clarity
To the blind
And the unloved
These souls
Have no hidden
Clause within them
All you have
To do is
Look further
Than your eyes
To see
Without Your
Sight
And presumptions
Leading you
To doubt
What could be magical
And freeing
Use
Whatever
Your heart
Your gut
Or intuition
Doesn’t matter
Just feel
They say
Beauty is in the eye
Of the beholder
It’s true
Can’t you see
Won’t you look
Beyond
The beauty
Of the physical
Outer layer
Somewhat deeper
Than the sea
There is a gem
Precious and rare
Inside of those
You would think
That wouldn’t be
They are full of Hope
And potential
But are consider
Ugly
Because no one
Has looked
Past the broken wing
And side halo
Hanging off their head
Dirty from
Getting
Down and dirty
In the trenches
Going deep
In a world
That don’t take
Kindly to hoping
And individual dreams
Yet they soldier
On to spread love
With smiles
And simple gestures
Through compassion
And their humanity
With no bias
In their heart
Towards color or gender
Their heart
Only beats
To the drum
Of love and
It’s ready to love
Another unconditionally
With only
The utmost purity
There are no conditions
What you must
Do for them
They are genuine
With no intentions
To use
Or hurt
Anybody
They refuse
To do it
Out of
Personal gain
They have
No jealousy
No hate
Within them
They win
When you win
When they help
All people
Succeed
In accomplishing
Their dreams
To living in
Their happily
Ever after

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Tunnel Vision”

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I do not
Need
To walk
In anyone
Else’s shoes
I will
Never be
A failure
I’m a winner
In my heart
Of hearts
I came
To my senses
I saw
What I was meant
To be
It’s not
Being with you
That person
Was a stranger
That possessed
My body
And corrupted
My soul
I cried
For days
To cleanse
Myself
When I wiped
My eyes
I was able
To see
The truth
For the
First time
I saw
With new sight
It was a
Vision of beauty
It was me
Smiling bright
I was
Without you
And my
Life was
All right
I promised myself
To never
Allow that image
To fade away
I finally
Had my strength
You made
Me weak
In the past
I could only see
Through
Tunnel vision
I got so far
Off track
I was
On a mission
Trying to prove
You wrong
Forgetting
Myself
Just for that
Short while
It felt like
An eternity
Walking
In your shoes
I was
Doing dumb shit
Mirroring you
Your stank
Attitude
And I allowed
Your anger to
Consume me
I was lost
Inside of you
I had to get out
I broke
The only rule
I had for myself
To always
Be true
Be me
And never
Be a duplicate

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Inexcusable Behaviour”

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I’ve recorded
And analyzed
Everything
Mentally
Never
Forgetting
The lies
That left
Your mouth
So easily
I won’t
Forget
That you lied
Straight to
My face
I remembered it
As if it
Was yesterday
So vividly
I can still
Taste
The hate
That spued from
Your mouth
You lacked
Self-respect
And all dignity
Your
Actions
Spoke
With fluidity
While slug
And sewage
Poured
Slowly
From all your
Crevices
Stinking up
The air
There was
No way
To breath
Around your
Poisonous
Toxicity
The habits
You’ve developed
From your past
Is hindering you
And
You’ve formed a
Very distinctive
Pelicular feature
That shields you
You are unable
To respect
Those good
To you
But today
My truth
Will be
Smacking you
I was born
With the capability
Of seeing
Truth
And
Bull shit
Around me
I treat
Your words as
Little Particles
Floating
In the air
About to plague
My environment
With a
Virus
With no cure
For me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Karma Will Get You”

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I feel
Every time
I’m around you
I’m dry drowning
In front of you
I can not depend
On you
To save me
If I do
I should
Give up now
Lay down
And let mother nature
End my pain
And
Devour me
It’s just
The realization
I’ve come to
I’ve realized you
Will never
Attempt to come
To my rescue
You’re a liar
Manipulator
A con artist
You lie
About everything
Telling everyone
The sky is gray
When everyone
Sees it’s blue
You have never
Told the truth
To save one life
Including yours
That’s why
You are dead inside
God forbid
If you ever
Said to anyone
I put it on my
Mother
Father
Brother
Sister
Daughter
Son
Life
Everyone would
Fall dead then
No one will
Survive your curse
On them
You would like it
Wouldn’t you
You’re delusional
If you believe
You’ve fooled
The world
Your obsession
With yourself
Is clear as
A sunny day
In June
You want what
You want
At any cost
Not caring
Who gets hurt
In the process
You have
No heart
To give
And
Compassion
Is a curse word
If anyone
Ask for it
From you
You are evil
You get kicks
And thrills
Out of
Tormenting
People
God
Does not like ugly
You will get yours
I don’t have
To do nothing
To you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I’m Not Following Your Footprints”

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He created me
To be
An original
Someone unique
Marching to
My own beat
So stop
Your
Sanctimonious
Holier
Than thou
Routine
Concentrate
On where
You are going
After your
Life is complete
Your opinion
Of me
Does not
Define me
You do not
Know who I am
What I’ve seen
What I’ve
Been through
Stop being
So quick
To judge
And
Kill
People
Who are different
I am tired
Of you yelling
At the top
Of your lungs
About you
Being Christian
My life
Is not
For you
To judge
But you
Do it anyway
Telling me
My God
Will
Not love me
Because of
What I choose
To be
Or do
In my life
Yet he is
The one
That created me
So why do
You care
Where my soul goes
Heaven or Hell
It is not
Your problem
It is between
Me and my maker
He knows
Me better
Than anyone
That my heart
Is his
And filled
With his love
Pumping
Throughout me
He chooses
To gift me
The ability
To
Walk
Talk
Breath
Everyday
That his blessing
To me
You may not
See it
In his eyes
I’m unique
Special
And what
He created
Me to be
So let me be
Who I am
Suppose to be

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Going To Faraway Places”

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I have
No worries
The heavenly father
Will bless
And replenish
What I’m needing
To keep on my journey
Those takers
Will continue
Even after I’m gone
On their destructive path
They are set on
Killing all beauty
Around them
I promise myself
I will be long gone
And out of reach
Far from that obliteration
That is them
I’ve learned from my past
I was too focused
On everyone
Except me
My energy
My love
Giving
All of me
Helping others
Neglecting myself
I’m not complaining
I gave it freely
But it was so draining
I finally had to recognize
That everyone
Does not
Deserve me
Who I am
As a person
What I offer
To the equation
For a long time
I’ve been
Malnourished
And
Dehydrated
Mentally
Physically
And
Emotionally
Not feeding myself
With nutritional substance
To substantial satisfy
Or fill me
I had no urge
Or visible belly bulge
That forced me
To unbutton
My pants
Before sitting
After eating
Some people are
Just takers
Taking all the good
And leaving
Footprints behind
Up and down your back
But whatever treasure
They think
They stole from me
Will
Diminish quickly
What they have
It’s too
Good and powerful
It will vanish
As they raise it to
Their mouth
Before consumption
Leaving them hungry
And Searching
To impoverish from
The next person
They see

-Yellowbonewonda

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